The Ego and the Self
The Ego and the Black Hole Parable
Paul J. Dejillas, Ph.D.
August 30, 2023
Science discovered that there is a big black hole at the center of our Milky Way Galaxy, located 272,000 light years away from our Solar System, that can swallow massive objects even bigger than four million times the mass of our Sun.
The black hole is dark because even light passing within its perimeter can be instantly captured and thrown into its dark pit, where a massive grinding machine is ready to pulverize whatever objects enter into it. This is why scientists believe that it is highly probable that we are all destined to die a very painful and agonizing death.
This massive grinding machine is even able to crush and extinguish light entering into it, a dark place where only darkness reigns supreme. Science predicts that billions and trillions of light years from now, everything existing in our galaxy will all be inside the black hole, gnashing their teeth, with no chance of escape.
This has been predicted to happen sooner than we expected because scientists discovered that our black hole is a voracious eater, luring objects around it as its food. The more it is able to feed itself, the bigger and faster it grows until our entire galaxy is obliterated from the face of the Cosmos.
Then, the black hole either ends up tiny or explodes as a supernova to release into space those elements from its maternal womb that is able to give life to all kinds of living forms and structures.
By coincidence or design, this extremely dark, black hole is also within us, lying side-by-side with the light that is likewise within us at the center of our core being. I refer to this black hole as our Ego that operates just like the cosmic black hole at the center of our Milky Way galaxy.
Our fate and future greatly depend on the kind of food (mindset, lifestyle, beliefs) we devour daily for our nourishment, sustenance, and growth.
Our Multiple Personalities
July 8, 2023
Anything we have ascribed to ourselves are earthly constructs, needed in this four- dimensional wall of ours if we are to survive and exist.
We need them, yes, to transact business with governments, schools, churches, mass media. To them, we don’t exist if we can’t identify ourselves properly, backed up with legal documents. We’re non-entities, not worthy of respect and dignity.
Just try to go to a street where you’re not known, camouflaged as a shaggy, dirty, unkempt, and deranged individual and, with a pitying look, begging for alms for your food.
I just remember the ancient knowledge and wisdom saying there are other worlds and dimensions out there where we have other identities. This has been proven to be so by contemporary science.
In fact, ancient texts and scientific discoveries concur there are 12 universes out there. We have multiple realities, multiple dimensions, and also multiple “I’s”, in fact, we have 12 personal identities all-in-all. And we can access and know our Twin Souls or our Other Selves out there in the other dimensions instantaneously and at the same time.
Only those that are impermanent, infinite, and immortal are real. Other identities simply pass by and go away. They are illusions, a product of all those attributes imposed on us from the external world since our birthing here on earth.
Something to reflect.
The Ego: The Road to Perdition
November 22, 2022
Yet, the Ego has its noble purpose. Its attributes are given to us by the outside world. They are necessary when dealing with others in our society.
But the Ego is not lasting. It is continually in flux. Our public image (title, career, status, work, age, and all the other attributes we put in our bio-data) can change anytime. When dealing with something spiritual, the Ego is of no use. Let it go.
Just keep the Ego in its proper place. Too much attachment to it can only slow down our cosmic evolutionary ascent. We need more time to be with our real Self.
Ego and the Self
Paul J. Dejillas, Ph.D. - August 3, 2022
The term Ego comes from Latin and Greek root words meaning “I” or Self. It is that being that gives identity to the person. But over the millennia, its meaning has diversified and has become complex as well as confounding depending on the one interpreting it. There are two ways by which we can shape or construct our Ego or Self, i.e., from within, from without, or even from a combination of both. The most important thing is that we are the ones freely defining our own identity, not others, not the external circumstances, and not the unconscious and biologically driven ego.
Personal Construct Theory and The Ego Theory
Paul J. Dejillas, Ph.D. - August 1, 2022
George Kelly’s Personal Construct Theory states that we are not pushed into action by environmental or unconscious actions. What a noble theory indeed. But, sadly, in reality we construct and build our personality most of the time unconsciously, and based mainly on what is happening around us. Psychologists call this The Ego Theory.
Participating Other Religious Rituals
June 20, 2022
If I do Buddhist yoga and practice some of its teachings, will that make me a Buddhist?
If I attend and participate in the rituals performed by Hindus in their Ashrams, will that make me a Hindu?
In like manner, when I attend and participate in the liturgical services of the Jews, will it make me a Jew? If I participate in the prayers and recollections of Islam, will that make me a Muslim.
Above all, when I attend the Holy Eucharist and receive holy communion, will that make me a Catholic?
On the other hand, if I go beyond all religious beliefs, will I become an atheist or agnostic? Or will that act of transcendence make me abandon all religious beliefs and simply become an omniest?
Or, when I commune with Nature, the moons, planets, stars, and galaxies, will that make me a Pantheist or Panentheist?
Just asking questions.
Anyway, whatever judgement you will render on me, I have participated in all of the rituals and imbibed many of the above teachings and beliefs.
There's a shadow lurking in our universe
December 28, 2021
Cosmologists and astrophysicists discovered that 25% of the Cosmos is made of mysterious particles known as dark matter and 70% a mysterious form of energy called dark energy. Together, these two dark elements constitute 95% of the entire Cosmos and referred to as "shadow universe".
Shadow universe exists from another dimension, inhabited by shadow people who we sometimes see as a vision or apparition. Shadow people are real. They are extraterrestrial beings or entities, we see usually as ghosts, angels, guardians, or other forms of spirits.
What quantum physicists are saying is that the Cosmos is an ocean of shadow universes appearing like bubbles of different sizes and masses that are able to transcend time and space. They are so subtle that they could be passing through us, with some preferring to remain with us, influencing our thoughts and feelings as well as our dealings with others and society.
The presence of various entities in us could either be uplifting or discouraging, creative or destructive, heavenly or hellish, good or bad depending on whether it's the shadow entities or light beings regulating our life.
Watch out. For you might not be aware who's directing your life.
I Am Just an Explorer
December 23, 2021
People tend to categorize us to belong to any of the following labels:
1. Iconoclast – a person who questions, criticizes, and argues openly against those beliefs that are not in consonance with his/her beliefs.
2. Omnist – a person who believes in all religions, faiths or creeds.
3. Pantheist – a person who believes that God is all around us, all throughout the whole universe and who believes in all gods from all religions.
4. Panentheist – a person who considers God and the world to be inter-related with the world being in God and God being in the world.
5. Deist – a person who is a believer of God.
6. Polytheist – a person who believes in multiple Gods.
7. Agnostic – a person who believes that there is a god, but not any god that's connected to a religion.
8. Atheist – a person who does not believe in God, gods, or goddesses.
I am neither of the above.
I exposed myself to several religious beliefs, learning their teachings and experiencing their rituals and other community activities, but not to attack and argue with them. I must admit I have imbibed many of their teachings and practices.
That’s why I am not a Buddhist. Buddhism is neither agnostic nor deist, neither monotheistic nor polytheistic. The Buddha himself openly rejected the concept of a God or Gods — and he is not a God himself, just a man who became a teacher of this specific Buddhist doctrine.
My upbringing and training, however, is deeply influenced by the teachings of Catholicism and I cannot just disregard this totally in my belief. But Catholicism signifies universalism, catholicity, holism, and cosmism. That's why I am more than just a Catholic because I have already imbibed other religious beliefs that are not part of Catholicism.
I am just a seeker, but not a seeker of truth either. For what is truth anyway? I have no yardsticks to measure what truth or untruth is and I am not in the position to judge what is truth or not.
I am not also an adventurer who travels a lot and explores, more for enjoyment. I am just somebody driven by curiosity to know and experience new things, propelled by the excitement of discovering something entirely new, different, and bigger, whatever this is.
I interact with people of different cultures, race, beliefs, always open and ready to discover treasures in their teachings that I've been longing and looking for in life, but which I myself am not also clear of what this is.
And this is what triggers me to continue exploring the world beyond. I'm just an explorer, a lone ranger and traveler perhaps if you wish, relentless in discovering new things, despite the uncertainties of what may lie ahead.
Desires and Attachments
December 9, 2021
Desires are simply electromagnetic forces that enter into our body as atoms and photons. Yet, they can excite and stimulate our senses. They come and go from moment to moment during the day. The problem is when we get so attached to them that we can't just let them go, just as we treasure and value our pet dogs.
Desire and attachment then begin to define who and what we are. What they want becomes a reality. Eventually, they define the kind of world we are to live in. They become active participants in our life, even more powerful than us.
Desires and attachments first came to us as strangers, but we didn't open our doors to them. They became so insistent, alluring us with so many wares and merchandise. We finally opened our doors and let them in but still as outsiders.
They indeed left only to come back again and again, enchanting us with so many fancies and fantasies. What were once outsiders became our precious guests and constant companions in life. We dined with them. Eventually, our guests stayed with us and became permanent dwellers in our little world. In time, it became difficult to discern the host from the guests. The two have become one, indistinguishable to each other.
Then, in my dreams, Shakespeare frantically cried out loud, waking me up from my deep slumber: "Let slip the dogs of war. The dogs know better who their master is". Suspicious of the cry, I went to the Lord for explanation. But, even before I could speak, the Lord spoke to me: "Yes, my son, I was about to ask you the same question: Who is your master and who are your guests?"
Ay, yay, yaaaaay .... Ok, folks, you're on your own, as I am.
The Self and Its Attributes
December 3, 2021
Who am I? How do I know who I am? Am I the body or the mind? Neither. The body experiences. The mind comes and goes. Both the body and the mind die.They are impermanent. But there's an entity in us that does not experience, does not come and go, does not travel in space and time. It is the Self.
The Self is spaceless. It's unmovable and has nowhere to go because it is everywhere. It is omnipresent. It doesn't age with time because it is timeless and eternal. It is ever present all of the time anywhere. It is, it has always been, and will always be. It is eternity.
It does not need to know anything because there is nothing to know outside of itself. It is all knowing and omniscient. It does not desire anything because it does not need anything. Thus, it's not attached to anything and anybody. It is fullness itself, never wanting, never desiring, never expecting, never hoping.
It does not need life because it is life itself. On the contrary, it is able to create, nourish, sustain, and replicate life. It can create and destroy as well as destruct and construct. In all this, it is always alive anywhere, anytime, now and forever, as it was from the very beginning of time, space, and matter, and even before.
The Self is pure awareness of its own being in communion with itself. It's not affected by any external event because there's nothing outside itself. It wants nothing because there's nothing higher than itself. It is One, entire of itself, not two, three, or more, self-sustaining, self-sufficient, self-nourishing, and self-dependent.
Let's stop being fooled by our experiences, knowledge, and beliefs. Let our true Self shine before everybody and before our world.
Dance of the Ego and the Self: The Born and Unborn
November 24, 2021
The ego is just the external manifestation, an add on. It manifests itself in those labels reflected in our curriculum vitae and we identify ourselves by these attributes like gender, education, income, age, social status, beliefs, whose synergistic effect hides the real identity of the Self.
It filters information coming from the external world, choosing only what it wants to enter within. It's judgmental and discerning, creating its own subjective world that doesn't mirror the outside reality at all. It chooses its own beliefs.
The more one feeds the ego, the more it hides the One that animates and watches the ego. The ego is impermanent. It dies with the body. But the One that watches and gives life lives on for eternity. The "One' I am referring to is the "Self" or "I am" . Anything you add to "I am" belongs to the ego.
Dissolve the ego and the Self manifests itself in its full effulgence, untainted by the capriciousness of the mind. No container can contain and hide the grandeur and glory of the Self. The Self is another dimension of life and existence.
Reviving Our Past Persona
October 4, 2021
Going back to our past persona could be dangerous to our present anima. As Psychotherapist Thomas Moore, in his Caring for the Soul, said:
“We find ourselves tempted to call for a return to old values and ways. It seems that in the past we were more religious as a people and that traditional values had more influence throughout the society. That’s why many people want to revive the past.
"But … we want to keep in mind Jung’s warning about dealing with present difficulties by wishing for a return to former conditions. He calls this maneuver a 'regressive restoration of the persona'.”
Something to be worried about, but needs some empirical testing and validation. Could this be true?
What's in a Name!
Paul J. Dejillas, Ph.D. – June 30, 2021
I was named after Saint Leopold Mandić, O.F.M. Cap. (12 May 1866 - 30 July 1942), a Croatian Capuchin friar and Catholic priest, who suffered from disabilities that plagued his speech. I remember I was dining with Fr. Alphonse Mildner, SVD, celebrating my feast day, May 12, on two occasions. But today it's St. Leopold's death anniversary.
But, all through my life, I was entangled in the successes and failures of the legendary Actor Leopoldo Salcedo both in his cinematic and real life.
Without realizing it, I was diverted away from St. Leopold's spiritual legacy to me. Yet, an occasion was opened to me to redeem myself.
I instantly remember, as I compose this post, that the Branzuela family gave me a nicely 1997-framed gift on my birthday containing a description of who and what I am. I did not even remember what its content was.
Finding this thing in my messy files took me a week's time. Anyway, reading it after nearly three decades, is like recalling the event in the Garden of Eden when the Lord scolded the couple for eating the apple. But this is already water under the bridge.
Nevertheless, I am sending my gratitude to the Branzuela family Ramon Branzuela (mind9mhonbz@yahoo.com), Tita Evasco-Branzuela, Chrismon Branzuela , and Triwynn Branzuela Triwynn04Branzuela@gmail.com.
On the photos below is my very strict disciplinarian Papa who wanted his children to be always together. On the last minute, he released me from his clutches all in the name of education. He's a believer of excellent, world-class education too.
Don't worry, Pa. I'm back to fulfill your mission for your kids to be always together, in health and in pain, including quarrels and occasional attitudinal flare-ups (tampuhan), as well as in joy and suffering, in heartaches and headaches. But, as they say, blood is thicker than water.
"I am" the Self, which is Consciousness and I want to be remembered while on Earth as Leopoldo J. Dejillas, Jr., the eldest son of a very strict disciplinarian, and a reincarnation of St. Leopold.
Can we change our form and face?
Paul J. Dejillas, Ph.D. – June 4, 2021
Can we make ourselves look much younger or older?
The Bible says yes. Mark (16:12) narrates that Jesus appeared in different forms. Luke (24:16) tells us that the disciples could not identify him.
Jesus transformed his physical appearance. He changed his face that became unrecognizable to them and even appeared as an elderly person (John 21:4,12).
He could enter a locked room, pass through walls, slip away from the crowd, and escape from people. He was transfigured where he appeared alongside Moses (Mark 16:12) .
The Romans had to seek the help of Judas because the people in that city were not familiar with Jesus, and the Roman soldiers were definitely not aware of what he looked like. All they knew was that someone named Jesus was a troublemaker and it was their job to arrest him.
Mary Magdalene saw Jesus first after the resurrection, but failed to recognize him (John 20:14).
Can we also shift our forms and faces like Jesus? Can we appear to look much younger or older, and indistinguishable as man or woman, or even sport non-human forms?
The bible tells us that there are heavenly bodies and earthly bodies and that Jesus must have appeared to his apostles and disciples in his celestial body (1 Corinthians 15:40).
But what does science have to say about this? Can this happen in the real world? If so, how does it explain this phenomenon?
In the quantum world, new physics teaches us that everything is energy that can manifest itself to us in two different ways, namely, as a mass or solid particle or in its original nature as energy, which is massless since it has no weight, no size, no height. It is also spaceless and even timeless.
Unlike a solid particle, energy is not encumbered by the materiality and solidity of our 4-D world. It occupies the 99.999999% space of the entire quantum world.
Unlike a solid particle which is finite, measurable, and mortal, energy is infinite, non-measurable, and immortal. This could as well be the heavenly body of Jesus that appeared to his apostles and disciples and even when he just vanished amidst the crowd.
Max Planck, the founder of quantum physics, says that what is happening in the quantum world can also happen at our level. This means that we can also change our form and faces and appear much younger or older and even genderless.
And indeed, this has already been proven to be true in the experiences of sages, saints, meditators, and yogis. This human ability to learn and experience the art and science of shape shifting is something that many of us are not aware of, much less tried to actualize in our day-to-day life for various reasons.
This is one opportunity that the pandemic must have offered us....to explore new worlds, new horizons, new possibilities, new things, new events that can offer us the chance to become new and much bigger than what we are today.